By Valerie Rice October 7, 2020
As a little girl, I remember growing up learning about the big, bad, MEN. How they were all out to get me, how I had to travel in packs with other people, and never go out at night, and cover every inch of my skin, and never do anything that could possibly draw attention to my existence, and so on. Why? Because I would be raped. And I would deserve it. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there, my friends, not at all. Rape culture is woven deep into our society. We don’t just normalize it, we WORSHIP it. We will NOT let it go. Don’t believe me? Read on.
The Abortion Argument
Stop! I am not going to dive into your beliefs on abortion, because I do not care. I am going to point out the worm Todd Akin, a politician who opposes all abortion, even in the case of rape or incest, because if the rape is “legitimate” (not a thing, BTW,) the woman’s body would prevent the pregnancy. Which, incidentally, is not possible. Oh, I mentioned incest. Did you hear the one about the little girl forced to carry her Grandfather’s rape-baby? No? Here’s the link. Look, I could go on, but I won’t. Let’s move on.
Ah yes, marriage, the wonderful time in a coupe’s life where a man marries his sex object. Wait…What? Have you ever wondered why people scream about marriage being between a man and a woman? Is it REALLY a biblical sanctity thing? Because the bible allows a man to rape a woman and then she is forced to marry him. So, uh, this isn’t the best book to back your moral play. In fact, marriage laws allow grown men to marry little girls. Some as young as 10! What a happy bride! Why? Because they have so much in common? They both love Tik Tok and Barbie? No. So he can get away with having sex with a child. It isn’t raping if you’re married, right? WRONG! Okay, Gross, let’s move on here.
Assuming Rape Reports are False
Okay. Breathe. Somewhere around 2% of rape reports are false. It changes every year, but more than 60% never go reported at all. Why? Because every time someone reports a rape, it is met with disbelief. Are you SURE you aren’t lying? Not to mention victim-blaming. Oh! Don’t get me started on the victim-blaming. That’s how people make your rape all about how it was your fault. The ones who do the most of this are police officers, court officers if it gets that far, family members, and everyone else. And Breathe Some More. Here is a link for more about that. Great breathing everybody! Moving on.
Jokes About Rape
Do I sound like a sensitive little snowflake to you? Seriously? I could mount your head on a pike from my balcony and wear your skin as a cloak (ghoulish overkill, guys). No. Rape jokes are never funny. Ever. But we hear them all the time, and instead of speaking up, we let it slide because we do not want to offend the person saying them. Why not? We were taught that it is better to be uncomfortable and accept rape as normal (rape culture) than to hurt someone’s feelings. Now, who’s the snowflake again? Allowing this to continue will just perpetuate that culture.
Using Sex and Rape Interchangeably
People, especially in court and media, swap the term rape for sex all the time. They are not the same thing. Most people may not understand that. Sex is a consensual act between two adults. Rape is a forced act that has nothing to do with sex. It is all about power and control. Totally different. So knock it off! Again, this behavior perpetuates the rape culture. It belittles the trauma and the victim. Stop it.
Alright, I’ll shut up now. This is one of my soapbox issues. I bet you can tell that though. This is a fascinating topic. And a really infuriating one. So teach your children to tear down the culture from within. Seriously, instead of training your daughters to hide, teach your children to respect each other’s boundaries. Tell them how to stand up for themselves and that it is okay to say “No” even if it hurts someone’s feelings. Seriously, telling your girls to behave doesn’t help, they still get assaulted. It makes them targets. Let’s all work together, start a dialogue with our kids, and change our obsession with rape culture.